Saturday, September 02, 2006
Today I woke up and went out.. went LAN to play cs.. but I the end played DOTA..understand more about it today…bought green apple milk tea and went home… later went compass with mum for dinner...den went home found out forgot bring keys..then my dad opened the door for me..
Tats settles for toda..kaes.. now..a message for U..
I read ur blog.. noe..how should I reply u..
Lets start with...me threatening u tat I wanna die..I think u got the wrong idea.. im not threatening u.. im telling u my problems.. why did I tell u???...coz..I dowan to die..I wan U to tell me the way out.. I asked U whether u wanted me to die because on that day I really felt like ending my life.. I chose to die.. and I ask u whether I should.. if I had read ur blog at that day I would had ended my life..
And I noe im bothering u.. but I cannot control myself from not bothering u..the onli solution is for me to die.. as I noe after I die u will be much happier..u should had scream at me.. I didn’t noe I was bothering u tat badly…I noe u are not lying… but u must admit u do break promises???...and I wanted u to argue back..because I think tat through arguing pp noe each other better..and its only to u its straight forward but to me.. I jus dun get it.. dun u noe im stupid???...
And tat time when I told u abt u changing ur attitude to me.. u told me.. u didn't noe u had changed??...and now u are admitting u had changed..and how did I caused tat changed???... all I did was to return to the past wen we were frens.. how does tat made u guilty???... and it jus doesn’t make sense to me.. if u felt guilty and terrible.. would u scold tat person and make tat person even sadder??..
I dun remember replying u tat I scolded u jus to talk to u.. but I remembered finding things to scold u.. I admit to tat..can I couldn’t get a life.. im dead inside.. I want life.. u oso got si lian before ma.. u should understand how I felt... I need encouragement to overcome this ordeal...my frens helped me a lot.. but all I really need is encouragement from U..I wanted u to guide me through this ordeal.. I needed u to get me move on in life.. but u did nothing..
Its really sad things turned out this way... From really good frens in the past we have to land up in this state???... Do things have o change after we broke up???...
Hey.. think about my words kaes???...
God bles...........
