Saturday, September 20, 2008
Chapter Sixty Nine
Hi.. The date is 20th September..
My average feeling for the day is... close to sucidal i guess...
***
Haha.. Got you worried there?
Don't worry though, I'm too afraid to die anyway. I won't do anything stupid.
I wasted yesterday. Or should i say YESTERDAY was wasted.
Yesterday was a day i should have fast forward.
Nothing productive. Was sleeping. And the more I sleep I more happy dreams i have.
Sometimes i wish I can dream forver..
But those are just dreams isn't it?
Ya, so didn't really make use of yesterday to study.
I know every second now is precious... Every second now SHOULD be used for studying..
I shouldn't even be blogging... -.-'''
I even told myself not to blog, but I just felt like expressing my feelings.
I really, really, REALLY emo about my studies now...
***
It seems like people around me are getting happier while I am getting more and more sad.
I just don't flow with the crowd.
Those who are emo with me now have reasons to be happy.
Maybe its a better thing for me to be sad.
Cause in society, you always need sad people in order to make you realised you are happy.
So i think i should be unhappy then. ( Hope I don't sink into depression.)
Friends would be seeing a more reserved christopher from now on.
But i really scared that I would lose my friends because of this.
I feel that we are drifting further and further apart.
At the start of the year. I remember Yunus, Jordon, Jordin, Jerome and me told each other we must stick together for the years to come.
We will get promoted together.
They were my first friends in 08B4.
But as the weeks past, I guess each of them started having other friends or in some cases girlfriends, and we start drifting apart.
Well, its not their fault though, its not anybody's fault, its just the flow of nature.
Well, guys. There is a high possbility that i wouldn't pass my promos this year and if that should happen, Im really sorry that i couldn't continue our lifes as classmates.
I also want you all to know that, although I may have other friends and brothers in 08B4, you all are the first. The ones that gave me a lasting impression.
I cherish the times we shared in the beginning of the year...
***
Heh. I sound like Im writing a last note.
I guess when people are feeling sucidal, they always have something to say to everybody.
But like I said, I won't do anything stupid.
Commiting sucide is really a stupid thing to do. (:
Kk..
I don't know if you care, but, I promise I can always make you smile.
Thats all...
To be continued...
