Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Chapter Seventy Four
Hi.. The date is 29th October..
The average feeling for the day is average... The day started out fine.. but as it goes on.. some stuffs occured to neutralize the FUN for the day..
***
Woah.. Its the seventy fourth chapter...
The chapters started when i was emo about love stuff.. Decided not to blog about emo love stuffs on my blog since long ago.. But i decided to break this vow.. Just for once.. I talk more about it later..
And actually.. I wanted to study.. But an incident made me wanna blog.. So i went online.. haiz.. And.. Im downloading maple now.. lols!..
***
Today reached school quite early.. Saw afrifah walking alone at the bus stop... Asked her where Hui Jie is cause almost everyday they come school together..
She told me Hui Jie will reached school later than usual.. lols..
So.. We took the same bus.. Never really talk much.. Talked about our promotional status...
Den I made my way to the OG area at the stadium..
For the past few weeks.. I had been going to the OG area every morning.. for some reasons..
But when Im there.. I seldom talk..
I just wanted to be there.......
So.. I just sit there and hear them talk lor..
AND YA.. im always listening.. Im just pretending not to listen.. will elaborate further later..
Class starts... For GP.. watch movie.. For chinese.. watch movie..
EVERYDAY... watch movie.. damn sian.. Im just going school because Im on "probation"..
School ends at 12.05..
Ate school in lunch.. Opps..... Ate lunch in school and after that went CSC for bowling with Jordin, Jordon, Yunus and CCLIA..
Last day with them already sia...
But we had fun la..
I havent played bowling for ELEVEN years le!..
Last time i played was at six..
I sux at first.. But slowly got the hang of it...
First match ended with me scoring only 55.. -.-
lols...
Played another match.. My first strike came when the bowling ball came flying out from my hand.. And looked at the ball and thought.. Gone case le.. BUT i actually STRIKE..
lols.. Jordon and Jordin also quite shock.. I had a few strikes after that.. Never count.. Not important..
But a funny guy like me confirm got funny shots de ma..
But one time.. I roll the ball.. I saw the ball hit only the pin at the left and turned towards they all..
But they all were laughing.. so i turned behind and saw ONLY ONE PIN LEFT!
According to them, the left side pin fell right and the pins were like dominos falling to the right..
Then when it reached the right end.. The right pin fell left.. So like domino again.. LOLS!..
So cool rights?.. But i never get to see it myself..
I wanna play bowling soon again.. heard that the next OG outing is bowling.. Looking forward to it.. ((:
Went home after that and slept.. Woke up at 7pm by a phone call by my mum asking me to buy coconut..
At my dazed state i was like "hur?... co. co.. nut?"
Accoring to her.. NTUC got promotion.. 2 coconut for $1.65..
Quite pissed off la.. Ask me make my way to ntuc JUST TO BUY COCONUT...
So made my way to NTUC.. realised that coconut sold out le..
made my way home.. And saw something that made me wanna blog..
***
I saw a women in her forties scolding her son and hitting him..
Dun really noe what she scolding about.. But confirm is about $50..
I really dun like family members quarelling about money...
ANd the son is only 7 i think..
And to think that she is beating him because of $50..
Is her son worth less than $50?..
And family members quarelling because of money.. Is love worth less than money?..
I looked at the woman and saw a old lady being left in a old folks home by her son..
And i saw her son growing up to hate his mum in his teenage years..
To me.. when a family starts getting all angry because of money matters.. I feel damn sad..
As i look at the boy who was being scolded by his mum for $5o..
I wanted to comfort him.. make his day better.. But i didn't do anything..
***
OK.. love stuffs now..
Today.. I brought a letter to school.. Wanted to give her.. But didn't have the chance..
Woke up at 5 today just to write the letter.. But nvm la.. fate..
then.. i thought about her blog.. she had hidden her blog from everybody.. (at least thats what she told me)
but i google her name anyway.. and to my suprise (actually i wasn't really suprised.. kinda expected it).. found her blog.. Read it and updated myself with her life..
updated myself with her saddness.. her worries.. her anger.. her friends..
EVERYTHING that i didn't helped her...
and think that i say that I LOVE HER when i didn't even know her problems and help her..
Then i had to make a decision..
Whether to tell her i found her blog so that if she wants to hide it.. She can make it private again..
Or.. i continue reading without her knowing...
I choosed to let her know..
And maybe she will make it private again..
***
Extract from her blog:
"
and that Christopher, he thought i block him from reading my blog lorrr... that is him who call me to block him de... then now he like not happy i block him... nvm.. anyway, i not only block him mah... i block everyone arh..."Thats what im doing again.. I actually letting her know that her blog is not hidden already..
High chance of blocking me (and everybody) again..
Im actually letting her block me.. But when she does....
I probably won't be happy again..
Its not that i not happy that she block me..
Im not happy that i won't be able to know how she lives anymore..
Whether she is fine.. angry.. happy or sad.. I won't know anymore.. and thats quite sad.. isn't it?.
I not so xiao qi one lor.. I won't be angry at her de.. I everytime angry with myself for everything de..
i angry that i requested that she block me from her blog although i didn't want it that way..
I angry.. that i been cold towards her.....
I didn't really talk to her these few weeks..
Because.. i didn't wanna fall deeper in love with her..
Thats one of the reasons why i requested she block me..
Didn't want her to know that i love her so much.. as it will only hurt both our friendship..
so.. i choosed self sacrifice...
But this post when published will spoil my plan.. lols..................................................
Thats why i dun wanna post about love thingy.. damn mushy oso..
I ownself oso cannot tahan already.. haiz..
This shall be the last time den..
Thats all..
To be continued...Stop lying to yourself that you love him only as a friend.. He really love him..
Thats why.. I wanna let go.. so that you can love him without any worries...
But i can't let go.. Im really sorry about this..
But dun worry about me..
I know how it feels to get ignored by someone you like and smsed for a long time..
Im just a phone call away should you wanna find me...
